So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
