yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
