yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
