Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
