If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
