i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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