I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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