Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
birth control should be required to get into college
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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