That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well I just put wine in my tea
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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