Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
