you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize