dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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