I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize