I didn't shave. On purpose
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
