people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
