Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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