my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
