He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
