yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
