By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
