i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
