she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize