I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
