help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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