You just made me feel so damn special
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
