Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
