May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Mom said you looked used
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize