I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
