So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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