The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
