do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
