All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Who died my cat blue again?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize