you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
