Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
