3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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