Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
