I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Text me some of your sweat
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
