so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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