I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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