In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
