after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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