Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
