you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
