Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
