Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize