Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize