The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
