i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
