The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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