Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
