And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
