Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
