I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize