My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
