"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My pussy is not your playground.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
