We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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