I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
