How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
