did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
