How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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