If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
