8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
