the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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