chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
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