Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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