My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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