i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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