My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
