i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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