I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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