Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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