i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize