Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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